A Fool’s Belief
There was a time not so long ago, when I believed the poetry I wrote was the way it was intended to be as soon I completed writing it.
Okay, in fairness to you (and me), when I picked up my first pen to write my first poem I had no instruction on the construction of a poem or what comes after. My English teacher Mr. Hollingsworth simply instructed the class to write a poem. I wrote my first one and found it to be rather easy, so easy in fact, I wrote two more. I left them as is and handed all three in to be graded. I had to wait for the entire weekend to find out my grade.
Come Monday he handed everyone’s poem back except mine. At the end of class Mr. Hollingsworth requested to speak with me about my poems. He started by asking if I had written them, to which I ensured him I had. Satisfied with my response he graded my poems honoring them with an A. He encouraged me to continue writing and try to get some of my work published.
What he did for me with his encouragement was instill within me a desire to continue writing. What he did not do for me, however, was instruct me about punctuation and other such elements. There was never any mention of the need to edit my poetry either during or after writing them. It was in these early days when I developed the idea poems as they were written were meant to be exactly as they were when done writing them. This is where I must confess I dropped out of high school five times, so I may have learned about it somewhere along the line.
Many years and poems later I found myself in a situation where serious decisions were needed to be made. I had lost most of my eyesight and could no longer hold my job as a meatcutter. The only other two jobs I had ever worked at were not options either. When was the last time you saw a legally blind security guard? I had left my life as a drug dealer many years before, and well, I was pretty sure it was not something I desired to do any more.
Through the CNIB I learned about the Hadley School for the Blind and Visually impaired. They offered many courses to teach life skills for those having or needing to adapt to their blindness. By this time, I had been out of school for nearly thirty years and did not relish the idea of doing school. I searched their course catalogue just the same and discovered a course entitled Elements of Poetry.
I signed up for the course for two reason. First, writing poetry was something I enjoyed doing anyway, and secondly, I figured it would be an easy course for me to ease myself back into school. The first few lessons almost seemed too easy, and I wondered if I would learn anything. Then the next assignment shook my world.
My instructor suggested I take an old poem I had written and re-write it, editing where it was required. I sent her an email and asked her why I would want to re-write or even edit. In it I also explained what I had come to think years ago. She responded by only suggesting I try. The assignment was to include the processes which led to the final re-write.
I wasn’t convinced yet this was something which should be done, as happy as I was about the new look and feel of the poem. The process itself would take me some time to get used to doing. I still miss a few of the grammar and spelling issues, but I do my best. I might be a little too stubborn to allow others to help me, but I am learning.
Isn’t it funny how one can get so set in their way thinking it is right and have their eyes open to the idea there may be another right way to do something. Lesson learned.
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